The attachment style of our early relationships influences the way we relate in adulthood. ‘Wired for love: How understanding your partner’s brain and attachment style can help you defuse conflict’ by Stan Tatkin describes the three main attachment styles as follows: a secure attachment style is likened to an anchor, an insecure avoidant attachment style is likened to an island, and an insecure ambivalent style is likened to a wave. The ‘anchor’ tends to be primarily stable in relationship. The ‘island’ appears very independent and gives the message that they can manage on their own. The ‘wave’ seems more needy of attention and reassurance from their partner.