Managing self-judgement

Many people have a voice of self-judgement running an almost continuous commentary in their heads. If you are one of these people you might like to ask yourself what role this plays.

A great deal of these people believe that without this voice keeping them on the straight and narrow they would go astray, or they wouldn’t achieve what they are able, or they might sink into some kind of lethargy and never get anything done. Or perhaps, they would let go and eat everything in sight and become obese.

Research suggests, however, that the opposite happens. When you let go of this self-judgement and become more compassionate towards yourself, the opposite seems to happen. You are more likely to get things done even though you have slipped on your schedule, or less likely to keep on eating once you have broken your diet.

So I suggest starting to notice this voice of judgement. What does it say? How often is it in play?

People are often surprised when they start to notice this voice how much of the time it is active. By noticing it they may feel it has got worse.

And there is a catch 22. You can get caught in judging yourself for judging yourself!

I suggest you treat this voice like an old school friend – someone you got on well with at some point but you don’t have much in common with now. You might greet them as they walk by but not get into a long involved conversation. Simply notice the judgemental thought, greet it, and walk on – like you might this old school friend.

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