The Space Between: Exploring Marital Interaction

One way to understand relationships in couple therapy is through the idea of “marital interaction,” a concept described by Stanley Ruszczynski. He encourages us to look beyond what is said on the surface in a relationship, and to pay attention to the ongoing patterns and dynamics that play out, often outside of our awareness.
A key idea in Ruszczynski’s work is the “space between” partners. This space is not just a physical distance or silence, but a living, emotional area in which each partner’s feelings, thoughts, and histories come together. Every couple has their own particular “space between”—shaped by memories, past relationships, expectations, and ways of coping with emotions. Sometimes it feels full of warmth and trust. At other times, it can be experienced as tense, confusing, or even lonely.
How we approach and inhabit this space matters. We often bring our hopes and vulnerabilities into it, sometimes without realising. When patterns of misunderstanding or hurt get repeated, the space between can begin to feel narrow or constricted. At these times, it might seem like there is little room to move, speak, or even think differently.
Therapy can support couples to pause and explore what is happening in this shared space. Rather than seeing problems as belonging just to one person or another, “the space between” encourages both partners to notice how their relationship is shaped by both their actions and inactions. This exploration helps to name what is often unspoken, and can open up new possibilities for connection, empathy, and change.
Learning to care for the space between allows couples to relate in ways that feel more conscious, supportive, and alive. It is an ongoing process of understanding, and it can be transformative for relationships that feel stuck or disconnected.
If you’d like to explore these ideas or are curious about making more space in your own relationship, you’re welcome to get in touch.