The Gottmans have described criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling as the four horsemen of the apocalypse: research has indicated they are all predictors of relationships ending in divorce with contempt being of particular significance. In couple therapy we take care … Continue reading
I am currently completing the Gottman method couple therapy Level 1 & 2 training developed by John Gottman and Julie Schwartz-Gottman. Whilst I have read and drawn on John Gottman’s research and books in my couple work up to this … Continue reading
The most essential ingredient of love is connection. Whether we call it love or connection or friendliness in a couple relationship, it can take many forms – from caring words or gestures, to sexual sharing, to a feeling of being … Continue reading
Familiarity and taking each other for granted can interfere with feeling and expressing love – especially sexually – in relationships. Seeing each other with fresh eyes can change this. Mindfulness practice can help us come into the present moment. Being … Continue reading
Most of us – especially if we haven’t worked with mindfulness practices – find our minds slip easily and habitually into judgement. Judgments are any opinions we have about this or that. They may take the form of labeling, admiration, … Continue reading
… an analytic point of view will be centered in a recognition that the interpersonal relationship between practitioner and patient is the core container for the patient’s development. A contemporary understanding of the therapeutic relationship begins by recognizing that we … Continue reading
When love prevails, fear departs. In the law of love — give all, sacrifice all. Gain is irrelevant, so what is there to fear? RUMI
The attachment style of our early relationships influences the way we relate in adulthood. ‘Wired for love: How understanding your partner’s brain and attachment style can help you defuse conflict’ by Stan Tatkin describes the three main attachment styles as … Continue reading
Attachment is the bonding or special relationship that develops between the primary caregivers (most often but not always parents) and the infant. Attachment has a very important role to play in emotional development. When the parents offer sensitive caregiving the … Continue reading
When we take time to become aware of our internal world and feelings we attune with ourselves. This creates an internal resonance which allows us also to attune with others. This provides the basis for resonance in relationships in which … Continue reading
