Dealing with anger

I am often asked about how to deal with anger.

When we experience anger we generally want to ask ourselves:

  1. Is there something I am not comfortable with and I need to set a clear boundary with someone? And how can I set a boundary in an assertive and healthy way rather than leaving things until I am so uncomfortable I explode?
  2. Is it because I use substances and my anger is providing me with an excuse to use?
  3. Am I feeling angry because I am struggling to accept life on life’s terms?
  4. Is there some other past painful experience that I have not explored and I get angry to protect myself from difficult feelings when something happens that reminds me of that painful experience? In this case I need to explore this past experience.

You may find your anger is primarily related to one of these or a mix of all of them.

Counseling or therapy is probably the most useful way to start dealing with these.

You are welcome to book a session with me – though generally one needs a number of sessions to engage deeply with long terms patterns.

If you cannot afford private therapy, you can try the following resources:

  1. Valkenberg or Lentegeur Outpatients for therapy
  2. If you are using substances such as alcohol or drugs it is likely that your anger is very tied up with them and you would need to get the support of something like Alcoholics Anonymous or Narcotics Anonymous to give you the support you need. This can be best used in conjunction with therapy.
  3. If you have had some kind of traumatic event in your life it may also be triggering some of your anger. In this case the Trauma Centre in Woodstock offers therapy.
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